Everything in today's society goes quick. We are living with a goal oriented mind rushing through life in our career, free time and even love life - wanting to constantly speed things up. One thing that crashes is when we also live our sexuality with a fast and goal oriented mentality. We can’t live sensations from our mind. We need to actually slow down and be in our body to feel our full potential of pleasure. One of my biggest shifts within is when I have started to allow myself to slow down in life, and even more so - my sexuality has shifted. It’s great that all of these clitoris stimulation sex toys exist - but I don’t believe that we can only rely on that in the long run.It’s a fun play sometimes, but we don’t want to get dependent on them - which many do unfortunately.
That’s why I have created a slow build up masturbation ritual for you women - to once in a while (or preferably often) schedule a longer self pleasure session.
Biologically, women often need more time to get in the mood and slow start to be able to reach higher states of orgasms. If we compare with men who usually get aroused much quicker and orgasm much faster.
Together with this I have chosen a beautiful selection of dildos/wands that is suitable for this ritual. Here we want to focus on our internal pleasure. Of course we will use our delicious pleasure-pearl for warm up - but inside is our direction. Scroll to the end to see the selection with links.
Firstly, plan at least 1-1,5 hour for this juicy journey. Plan a date night just for yourself where you don’t get disturbed.
1. Clean your bedroom (or space where you want to do this ritual), change your sheets
2. Buy some flowers, decorate the space
3. Light some candles, maybe light an incense or a candle with a smell you love
4. Have a shower, show up for yourself as you would show up for someone else before an important date
5. Put your phone on flight mode, we don’t want to be disturbed here.
Phase 1
Starting by sitting down in your space, making yourself comfortable. Getting in contact with your body. Breathing down to your heart, to your belly & to your vagina. Allow this to take some time, allow yourself to soften, to relax, to get into the mood. Set an intention for your practice, for yourself, for your journey.
But try not going into any goal orientated intention like ”I want this specific orgasm/outcome”
Example of intentions:
”I want to learn more about myself”
”I want to choose myself more”
”I want to focus on my sexual self growth, therefor I put time and energy into me”
Phase 2
Putting on some music that makes you feel lush and sensual, whatever floats your boat. But I would recommend something slower and not something that will speed up your pace. Here you want to nurture your skin and all the parts of your body. Starting with caressing your body, maybe you are using some nice natural body oil to do so, maybe you aren’t. Caressing every little part of your body, giving importance to your full body. Start to notice all the different areas of your body and the sensations they give you. Maybe in this exploration you will find some new erogenous zones on your body.
Phase 3
Keep on having some sexy slow music in the background. Allow yourself to feel the music. Breathe deeply into your body and allow some sound with your exhales. Once we are breathing with our mouth we are giving the body more energy to build up the pleasure. Start to move your body to the music while you keep caressing your body. Maybe you want to do this laying down, maybe you want to do this sitting up or standing up - you choose what feels best in the moment. Undress with the music until you are as naked as you prefer for your ritual. Massage your breast, touch your body, move, get in touch with your sensual self.
Phase 4
Now you are beginning with your gential pleasure. Begin with the outside. Explore your labias. Maybe you want some lube or oil here, maybe not.
Massage, caress, try different strokes. See what feels nice for you. Build up your arousal before the internal massage. Don’t rush.
Phase 5
Wait until you are fully lubricated and lush. Put the dildo of your choice at the opening of your vagina. Don’t just push it in. Allow your vagina to speak to you - and give you the message when she is ready for the entering. Make a few squeezes with your pelvic floor muscles and see if she is opening. Once you are ready, you start giving yourself pleasure. Explore the inside. Try laying down, sitting up as you are riding the dildo. Try different angles and directions and explore what feels nice for you. Allow this exploration to take time. If you feel like you can touch your clitoris at the same time. Or you just focus on the internal massage to keep on building yourself up. Have the sexy music on in the background. Maybe you want to have a mirror in front of you to witness yourself in your pleasure. Keep on touching your breasts with the other hand, caressing other parts of your body.
The goal is not orgasm. The goal is for you to explore yourself, and to nurture your body without any specific outcome in mind.
Maybe orgasms are coming naturally, maybe not. Don’t judge your body and your journey. Building a connection with ourselves takes time and effort.
Phase 6
End the ritual with a meditation. Giving gratitude for yourself and your body. Cherishing your essence.
Maybe you want to hold a hand on your heart and the other on your vulva. Establishing your heart - vagina connection.
For this Ritual I have picked out a selection of different dildos that would work great for this kind of ritual. Different sizes, shapes and prices to fit everyone. Below you can see my favorites from brands that I like. I really love the Avant Series of dildos, the color selection, the shapes and the materials. All these dildos are made of high quality materials and are free from phthalates. They adapt to your own body heat and you can both heat them up or cool them down for more layers of exploration.
1. RUSE SHIMMY DILDO
Starting with the biggest. I can’t lie - I like a big dick/dildo. For me I love this one. I personally like the realistic feeling of the veins and the gland.
This one really reaches all the way up to my cervix.
2. AVANT D1 HOT N COOL
I love the pastel color of this, and the shape is amazing for G-spot pleasure. And in genreal I just love all Avants dildos, I got several.
3. SOLID LOVE RIBBED DILDO
This one has a beautiful soft material which you can squeeze and it sticks. This is a bit cheaper than the others but still super good.
4. AVANT PRIDE P3 BEAUTY
Well, I love the color here too. I like my dildos in beautiful colors. This one is a bit smaller and perfect if you prefer a smaller shape.
5. HERSPOT DILDO GOLDEN ROSE MEDIUM
I’m in love with the glittery color of this one. The shape is great. A little shorter but still got the thickness. Also perfect shape for G-spot play.
6. AVANT PRIDE P1 FREEDOM
This is both suitable for vaginal stimulation and for anal stimulation. As it is shaped it’s perfect to stimulate the female G-spot.
Författare: Maxinne Björk